Someone once said that falling in love is extremely simple, but breaking with love is cruel, especially when you wanted the relationship to last.
A broken heart hurts, you feel like you are breaking into thousands of pieces that you will never collect. There is no quick way to ease your pain, but the pain that comes from deep love cannot stop you from loving it, it will make the next one more mature.
Only before you begin to love again, you must get out of your suffering, glue your heart once more, and slowly move on.
Walkthrough this pain, not around it
I know that the hardest part is to stop and realize how hurt you are. But that's what you need to do because no shortcut is without its obstacles. Here's a simple fact: you need to feel sorrow and pain to move on. Go through it. Not around. When you deal with pain, you become stronger, ready to face problems. Pain makes you feel stronger, don't run away from it, it will catch you up anyway.
Disconnect and enjoy your freedom
The Buddha taught that attachment leads to suffering. So the most direct path to happiness and peace is disconnection.
One of the most liberated thoughts is, "I don't need anyone or anything to make me happy," because you realize that your happiness depends only on you. And although your heart is broken, you will come out of it once again. You will fill the void you feel today with fantastic things. Just allow yourself to do it.
Focus on your strengths
Even though today you feel defeated and worthless, try to think about what you are good at, strong at, and in what situations you prove yourself. Can you count on me? Are you a good friend? A great organizer? Worker? Think of yourself in these positive terms, every morning, when you stand in front of the mirror, repeat the list of things that prove your uniqueness.
Let yourself fantasize
Sadness would not be a natural process if it lacked longing. Do not swear that you will never think about him again, that you are getting him out of your head. Take your time as this approach can make things worse. In a famous psychological study from the 1980s, the group of respondents was supposed to think about anything but a white bear. Guess what everyone thought? It is similar to you now.
Help someone else
When you pay attention to another person - especially someone who is struggling with the same type of pain - you forget yourself for a moment. By helping someone else, you will feel better.
Laugh. And cry
Laughter heals us on many levels, and so does she cry. Do you think it's just a coincidence that you always feel better when you cry out? Many physiological reasons give tears healing power. Emotional tears (compared to irritating tears, such as when you slice an onion) contain toxic biochemical byproducts that crying removes from our body and thereby relieves emotional stress. So go grab the handkerchief box and cry all afternoon.
Make a good and bad list
Think about what things hurt you even more. Maybe it's checking his Facebook or Instagram? Contact his colleagues for any information? Write it all down and on the other side put what makes you smile, that you forget your pain, and your heart starts to beat with its rhythm. It may seem silly, but such a list is really useful when you see it in front of your eyes, you just won't do certain things and start living again.
Suffer the sorrow
And literally - running, swimming, or going to kickboxing - will give you immediate relief. On a physiological level - because sport increases serotonin activity and stimulates the brain chemistry that promotes the development of nerve cells. But also on an emotional level - because you take control and become the master of your mind and body. Additionally, you can imagine the guy responsible for your pain and kick him in the face. Better?
Create a new world
Create your own safe world - full of new friends who won't recognize him in the crowd and won't know how to spell his name. Take the opportunity to try something new - diving, drawing, climbing, programming, your mind to a fresh start… without it.
In some movies (I don't remember the title right now, but will go and search it on Netflix, kissanime, or Amazon prime and tell me the name in comment) I heard that there is one emotion that is stronger than fear, that is forgiveness. However, forgiveness requires hope: we must believe that there is a better place, that the painful void you experience will not be with you forever, that one day you will be excited about making coffee or going to the movies with friends. Hope is the belief that the sadness can go away, that if you try to get through this hell your smile won't always be forced. Therefore, to go beyond your fear, you must find hope.
And remember to love again
When our hearts are bruised and split in half, we have two options: we can close our heart so that no one can get to it, or we can love again. Deep, just as intense as before. And they will go away from you. The pain of rejection and absence, if only you let him, will make you stronger. And again you will be able to love deeply with more mature and conscious love. I wish you this with all my heart.
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